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Language Matters: How We Frame Dating Stress

Description [[https://bit.ly/49YWnTO More On the Nuclear Family with Children Narrative]] [[https://bit.ly/4iX9E3k Loosening the Chains of the Nuclear Family]] [[https://bit.ly/4iSkabY Kindness and Modern Dating]] [[https://bit.ly/4gNRM8Q How to Navigate Uncertainty in Online Dating]] [[https://bit.ly/3DtnDgM A Dating Suggestion to the Deeply Frustrated]] [[https://bit.ly/49X16VV Rethinking Gender Norms in Modern Dating]] [[https://bit.ly/49STOm7 Obsessing About Strangers]] [[https://bit.ly/49UFqJW Two Dates in One]] [[https://bit.ly/4iRFmyN Texts Or Calls And Dating]] [[https://bit.ly/3Pc2lqL Men Like a Challenge]] [[https://bit.ly/4acUVxf Men Want to Feel Manly]] [[https://bit.ly/4gPbSQf Issues with the Language of Dating Angst]] As for my peers… ::shrug:: They pretty much know how I roll as far as dating and mating. Quite a few of them have dated/mated interracially or are doing so now, so they just look at me. I think they’re more amazed I’m into polyamory and burlesque than into interracial dating. Helena: I went to winter formal with a Korean guy and I went to prom with the quarterback who was Filipino. I asked him because I’d had the hugest crush on him for more than a year. My aunts and cousins came over to house before prom to help me get dressed (we call this a “champagne party” in Cali) and they weren’t at all shocked that my date was Asian. They were impressed that he rolled up in a Beemer. But once I got to college it seemed as if dating outside your race was much more taboo. I mean you couldn’t even kick it with other folks without being seen as a fake. I was used to eating kalbi and calling my Chinese best friend’s mom Auntie Diana, so the self-segregation in college threw me for a loop. It got so bad–me hanging with white people–that a friend, who’d eventually pledge a black sorority with me, pulled me aside to tell me that word on campus was that I “wasn’t black.” Like, huh? Then sophomore year I actually dated a white guy for a hot week. We joked about race all the time. I think it made us feel mature and so over it. Once he asked me if I’d like to be the roast beef in his white bread sandwich. Seriously. We held hands and ate at a campus cafe together maybe two times and the streets started talking. One of my older guy friends, who my mother asked to look out for me, pulled me aside and told me that it wasn’t cool for me to date the white dude. We broke up, eventually. Because he played air guitar and it was college not because folks had a problem with it. But I still remember thinking that black men had a problem with seeing me with this white man. That was in 2000. Tami: I dated white and Asian men casually and also had a yearlong relationship with a white guy. Like Andrea, I’ve had the experience of navigating relationships with men who have never dated black women–sometimes wading through stereotypes and exoticizing. I also connected with some really good guys. None of them ever met my parents. That wasn’t by design, though. Ultimately, the greater barrier in my longest IR relationship was class and not race. He was raised in and continued to identify with white, ethnic, working-class Chicago. I grew up the child of degreed black professionals in a suburban environment. Our outlooks and our goals were too far apart, no matter how much we liked each other. But, as someone mentioned above, I’m not sure class would have been as much a barrier, if we had race in common. That feels strange to say.
Début de l'événement 27.01.2023
Fin de l'événement 31.01.2023
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